Them And Us: The Divide Is Deeper Than Ever

As Jewish bonds tighten, the spike in anti-Semitism grows ever-more frightening.

Finding strength in unity: Maurice Shnaider, in cap, shows visitors a photo, on the screen, of his niece and her two young sons, held hostage by Hamas.

Toward the end of a shiva visit last Friday to Maurice Shnaider of Kingston, NY, whose younger sister, Margit Silverman, and husband, Yossi, were murdered by Hamas terrorists on a kibbutz near the Gaza border, I asked if he had a message for the Jewish community. 

Though exhausted and emotionally spent from the week’s experience, which included 800 visits from people near and far, he responded immediately: “B’yachad (together),” he said emphatically, and went on to explain how deeply moved he was by the outpouring of caring from so many people he did not know, underscoring the power and passion of community. 

The first day of shiva, he said, 100 people came to his home, about 100 miles north of New York City. On the second day there were “at least 200,” and the next day between 350 and 400 people, including two busloads of students from SAR Academy in Riverdale, NY.

Echoing a statement he made the day before at a public ceremony at the Chabad of Ulster County synagogue, where he is a member, Shnaider told us the outpouring of empathy gave him and his family a sense of belonging in the midst of their grief, and that while he has lost a sister, he felt he has gained an extended family.

Those of us in the room thanked him, in turn, for inspiring us with his words and allowing us to perform the ancient mitzvah of comforting a mourner.

Adding to the poignancy of the moment was the fact that though the shiva was ending, Shnaider is still praying for the release of four family members being held hostage in Gaza. His niece, Shiri Bibas, her husband, Yarden, and their sons Ariel, 4, and Kfir, 10 months,  lived on Kibbutz Nir Oz, as did Shnaider’s sister and brother-in-law.

A video made by the terrorists of Shiri and her two red-haired sons became public soon after the Simchat Torah attack. Kfir, seen with his pacifier in the video, is believed to be the youngest of the more than 230 hostages. 

As many as one-third of the residents of Kibbutz Nir Oz were murdered on Oct. 7. It was at first believed that Shnaider’s sister and brother-in-law were taken hostage that day as well, but their bodies later were identified. They were buried last Monday.

A sign-in notebook on the living room table had the names and emails of hundreds of shiva visitors. Shnaider told us he hopes to invite everyone who came to comfort him to a celebration when his niece and family are freed. 

The youngest hostage? The Shnaider TV shows a recent photo of Maurice’s niece, Shiri Barbas, and sons Kfir, 10 months, and Ariel, 4. Shiri’s husband, Yarden, is also being held captive in Gaza.

I left his home inspired by his optimism in the face of tragedy, and his call for unity among Jews in Israel and the diaspora. That bonding among our people is evidenced in countless acts of kindness and support on behalf of Israel’s soldiers and the thousands of refugees in their own country, uprooted from their homes in the south and the north. The great majority of these efforts have been volunteer-based, underscoring the enthusiasm and energy of Israeli society as well as many communities and individuals here and around the world that have been heroic in providing donations, clothing, food, and so much more for their brothers and sisters at this critical moment in Jewish history. 

The Harsh Reality

But for all the stirring examples of Am Yisrael Chai among our people, with each passing day I struggle with the hard realization that much of the world is growing increasingly intolerant – even violently so – of Israel and of Jews. 

Beyond the Arab world, large groups in China, Russia, England and the U.S. call “from the river to the sea,” a Mideast with no place for a Jewish state. Most shocking has been the virulent anti-Semitism on American college campuses, now with threats at Cornell University to kill Jewish students. 

There seems to be no understanding of or empathy for Israel’s impossible military and moral dilemma: to do its best to rescue the hostages and avoid killing Gazans placed in harm’s way – by Hamas – while defeating the terrorist group so that it can never again carry out its mandate of murdering Jews through pogroms like the one that took place on Oct. 7.

The failure of those who call for a Palestinian state to acknowledge that Hamas is beyond the pale –  committed solely to destroying Israel and murdering Jews  – can only be attributed to a kind of blind hatred of Jews. 

Examples abound of the radical illogic of progressives who demonize Israel – a democratic state where Arabs serve in the parliament and on the High Court –but support the terrorist rule of Hamas, which spends billions on acquiring arms and building tunnels rather than providing basic needs for its own people. Progressives who champion gay rights somehow ignore that Israel is one of the world’s most prominent safe havens for gay people, including Arabs who would be subject to death in their own countries. 

The list goes on, and the only plausible explanation for such virulent opposition to the world’s only Jewish state is that anti-Semitism is alive and well, expressed in anti-Zionism.

I know I am preaching to the choir. I understand that a single image of the rubble of Gaza and a child casualty of war is far more compelling to many people than volumes of tomes explaining Israel’s Jewish history, dating back thousands of years and leading up to the many attempts Jerusalem has made in recent decades to live in peace with its neighbors. 

Facts, context, nuance are dismissed. Is there no way to reverse this dark path toward tragedy as the war progresses?  I understand the cynicism of Israelis who say they would rather be hated than mourned. But Judaism looks to the future with hope (“Hatikvah”), and Psalm 30 tells us “at night there may be weeping, but in the morning there is joy.”  

These are dark days, with more to come, but Israel has the support of the most powerful country in the world and, most importantly, it has a society and a people’s army that believes in itself and in its ultimate victory over evil. 

May it be so – “b’yachad.”