Well, as I'm sure you know, our sages weren't thinking of what the bar/bat mitzvah has turned into, or even the mid-20th cent. version thereof, but just an aliyah to commemorate adulthood. Like with many other issues, things got out of hand...
But your experience brings to mind 2 occasions for me. One was a snowy bar mitzvah with many missing relatives. The ones who came from Europe were there (having arrived a few days prior); the more local ones couldn't get there. The European relatives helped make the minyan for mincha, and there were leftovers from kiddush, plus the standard fare for seudah shlishit, which gave me the idea to try lox with babaganoush -- it's quite good; you should try it.
The second was a the bar mitzvah of the oldest son of a rabbi friend of mine in a small synagogue in New England. The 'young man' knew me his whole life. His father was loved by the congregation, & here was his oldest son (born there) becoming bar mitzvah -- already! how could it be 13 years already?! Said son came over to me and said, "I have to ask you something. Everybody here is making a big fuss over me -- 'I can't believe you're bar mitzvah already: I remember when you were born! I was at your bris!' And you haven't said anything like that; so I have to know -- were you at my bris?" I told him I hadn't been there; I'd met him when he was about 8 wks old, so he was relieved to know that. But I didn't tell him that I did change his diapers...
Gary, thanks for the laughs. i remember three things about my bar mitzvah.
Here I was, the son of a founder and first president of the shul, a regular attendee from the time I was able to walk the 20 minutes it took to get to shul. Davening begins and I have my siddur open and I'm turning pages but not actually saying a word, but thinking I'm doing a good job faking it. A young man walks up to me - I still remember his name - and chastises me with words that went something like this: You're not davening. Do you want to be like all those other bar mitzvah boys who come to shul just once in their lives?
I was trained by the young rabbi who was a master baal keriah. i guess I must have been nervous but I honestly don't remember. But I was ready! Then, third verse in, I hear voices shouting out a correction of a reading mistake I made. I was mortified. And, 67 years later I still remember the exact mistake and the feeling of having made it.
After davening, the president gets up to make his announcements. But before he gets to the announcements, he begins by speaking about my family. In this little speech he manages to compare my family to royalty. And my uncles and aunts and the rest of my family were sitting and nodding in agreement.
Your writings colorfully and nostalgically evoke an era and a Jewish way of life that I can only dream about. I love reading your reminiscences about growing up and will search if you've written a memoir or a bio-based novel. If you haven't, please start immediately. I need a good book that "I can't put down," especially if, G-d forbid, we've got to sequester yet again. Thank you for sharing a bit of your life with us.
Well, as I'm sure you know, our sages weren't thinking of what the bar/bat mitzvah has turned into, or even the mid-20th cent. version thereof, but just an aliyah to commemorate adulthood. Like with many other issues, things got out of hand...
But your experience brings to mind 2 occasions for me. One was a snowy bar mitzvah with many missing relatives. The ones who came from Europe were there (having arrived a few days prior); the more local ones couldn't get there. The European relatives helped make the minyan for mincha, and there were leftovers from kiddush, plus the standard fare for seudah shlishit, which gave me the idea to try lox with babaganoush -- it's quite good; you should try it.
The second was a the bar mitzvah of the oldest son of a rabbi friend of mine in a small synagogue in New England. The 'young man' knew me his whole life. His father was loved by the congregation, & here was his oldest son (born there) becoming bar mitzvah -- already! how could it be 13 years already?! Said son came over to me and said, "I have to ask you something. Everybody here is making a big fuss over me -- 'I can't believe you're bar mitzvah already: I remember when you were born! I was at your bris!' And you haven't said anything like that; so I have to know -- were you at my bris?" I told him I hadn't been there; I'd met him when he was about 8 wks old, so he was relieved to know that. But I didn't tell him that I did change his diapers...
Ohhh, Gary, dear ... you always make me laugh! Loved it! -- Leah
Gary, thanks for the laughs. i remember three things about my bar mitzvah.
Here I was, the son of a founder and first president of the shul, a regular attendee from the time I was able to walk the 20 minutes it took to get to shul. Davening begins and I have my siddur open and I'm turning pages but not actually saying a word, but thinking I'm doing a good job faking it. A young man walks up to me - I still remember his name - and chastises me with words that went something like this: You're not davening. Do you want to be like all those other bar mitzvah boys who come to shul just once in their lives?
I was trained by the young rabbi who was a master baal keriah. i guess I must have been nervous but I honestly don't remember. But I was ready! Then, third verse in, I hear voices shouting out a correction of a reading mistake I made. I was mortified. And, 67 years later I still remember the exact mistake and the feeling of having made it.
After davening, the president gets up to make his announcements. But before he gets to the announcements, he begins by speaking about my family. In this little speech he manages to compare my family to royalty. And my uncles and aunts and the rest of my family were sitting and nodding in agreement.
Keep the columns coming, Gary.
Bernie
Tmie for the full lengh autobiography - Bernstein's was missing the Yiddish, the Rabbis, and the Sages....
Time fo the full length autobiography, I would be glad to be one of the first readers. Bernstein's didn't include the Sages...
Your writings colorfully and nostalgically evoke an era and a Jewish way of life that I can only dream about. I love reading your reminiscences about growing up and will search if you've written a memoir or a bio-based novel. If you haven't, please start immediately. I need a good book that "I can't put down," especially if, G-d forbid, we've got to sequester yet again. Thank you for sharing a bit of your life with us.
I LOVED IT